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THE THREE MUSKECOINS

A coin story by Nowlin Craver

"Have any of you seen 'The Three Musketeers' movie? You know every time you turn around there's a new one, because they were the most famous swordsmen of all time. And do you know what made 'The Three Musketeers' so great...? There were four of them!"

(TAKE FOUR COINS {HALF DOLLARS}FROM COIN PURSE; PLACING EACH, ONE AT A TIME, OVERLAPPING, IN PALM OF LAFT HAND)

"That's right: you had Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and... Fred."

"Of course no one knew there were four 'Three Musketeers'; they just thought there were three 'Three Musketeers' because Fred would hide in the bushes..."

(PLACE HALF DOLLAR IN POCKET)

"Then when three other sword-men challenged them, Fred would jump out of the bushes, and it would be four against three…"

(OPEN LEFT HAND SHOWING FOUR COINS.)

"and they would rip the others to shreds. Then they'd bang their swords together and say, 'All for one and one for all!'"

"Then when they'd all go carousing on the town; except Fred would hide in the alley …."

(COIN PLACED IN POCKET)

" and then when 'The Three Musketeers' got in a drunken squabble with three other swordsmen, Fred would jump out of the shadows..."

(OPEN LEFTHAND SHOWING 4 COINS)

"It would be four against three, and once again they'd slice their foes to ribbons, clang their swords together, and yell 'One for all and all for one."

"Then one day Fred went to hide in the bushes..."

(PUT COIN IN POCKET, HAND STILL IN POCKET)

"and Porthos said ,'what's going on here!?!?' Because now there were just two "Three Musketeers"..."

(OPEN LEFT HAND SHOWING JUST TWO COINS THERE NOW; TAKE RIGHT HAND OUT OF POCKET SHOWING TWO COINS IN IT)

"Because Athos was over in the bushes arguing with Fred about who got to jump out and stab the others in the back. Fred said he'd be glad to go carousing with the others for a change; but Porthos said he wouldn't been seen dead carousing with anyone named Fred. So Athos said, 'Why doesn't he change his name to D'Artgnon?' And Porthos said '.cool.' So Porthos , Aramis, and D'Artagnon went carousing the town, while Athos hid in the Alley..."

"But you see, the 'Three Musketeers' had bitter rivals called "The Three Snickers;" but there were not three "Three Snickers' , but four "three Snickers". But the fourth "Three Snickers" was not a he but a she; and it was her job to keep Athos--who was a bit of a ladies man--in her clutches while "The Three Snickers" fought "The Three Musketeers."

(COIN IS PLACED IN LADY SPECATOR'S CLOSED HAND)

"But when the time came, Athos jumped out from the alley, it was four against three..."

(SHOWING FOUR COINS ONCE AGAIN IN HAND)

" and "The Three Snickers" were dead candy-- I mean, meat. For you see the fourth snicker had made a mistake...she did not get a musketeer... She got a MOUSEKATEER!"

(SPECTATOR OPENS HER HAND SHOWING COIN WITH LARGE CIRCLE WITH TWO EAR CIRCLES CUT OUT IF IT)